We're Stuck!

      So here is what I've been struggling with for a while…I feel stuck. We have 27 days until our second wedding anniversary, May 15^th. We both feel like we should be in a different place right now. We should be moving on to a next step, but we are still feeling like we’re stuck in this young newlywed phase where our future is unknown. We are desperately ready for that next step. For us, we see that step being one of two things…either buying a house and settling down, or having a baby and becoming parents. Neither is an option.

      My husband will start applying soon for a new job, which means we’re not sure how much longer we’ll be in Virginia, nor do we know where we’ll be going next. That means that buying a house and actually settling down is not an option. My brother-in-law and his fiancé are getting married in October, and they are already looking for a house. I feel really jealous. We should be at the point where we are done renting, but unfortunately that’s not happening. I am obsessed with HGTV and have many ideas for our future home, and I want to be nesting! It sucks.

      And as far as having a baby goes…well, that’s not happening either, obviously. I have this newfound faith and peace with God about the situation, but it doesn't mean that I want a baby any less. There was no BFP this cycle, and I've been bleeding now for 7 days. I’m not entirely sure it’s a period either… I've had a lot of random bleeding over the past year and this bleeding right now is very similar, which makes me think it’s not a period. I just don’t know. But I did get an OPK for this month so we’ll see if I ovulate this cycle for sure.

      So…we’re stuck. We both feel like we should be taking the next step in our relationship and marriage, but unfortunately we can’t. I guess I just have to see where God is taking us, but I hope He knows how impatient I am!