Welcome!

      Hello! I am Kristi, and I am 25 years old. I am happily married to my best friend and am passionate about my daycare, a small business that is slowly starting to grow. I welcome you to my blog, Preconceived Notion…my journey as a constant dreamer.

      Let me start by explaining why I chose to write this blog. (Forewarning…since this is the first post, it is going to be rather long, please bear with me!)  For a year and four months now, my husband and I have been, unsuccessfully, trying for our first baby. I have struggled a lot in this time with many emotions and with my faith. I am a constant dreamer, and have always had preconceived notions about how my life would turn out. So far, not everything is going according to my plan. This devastates and confuses me. So I’m writing to get my feelings out; to gain some patience while struggling on this journey, hoping to find out what God’s plan is for my life exactly.

      My husband and I were married on May 15, 2011. We had dated, on and off, for four years prior to our wedding. He is my absolute best friend and I love him more than anything. We have grown a lot in our relationship. We had a rocky and rough start, but I can honestly say that we are better people because of it. We have learned so much about each other and ourselves during our struggles. I wouldn't trade any of our past experiences for anything because it’s made us who we are today. Our friendship and marriage is strong.

      We decided to start trying for a baby in October of 2011. We knew since day one that we wanted a family more than anything. It was, and still is, a dream that we both share. We found out we were pregnant in early December of that same year and were shocked that we didn’t have to try for very long! Since as long as I can remember, all I've wanted to be was a mommy. It is engraved on my heart. Getting that positive HPT was an answered prayer; a miracle; a blessing! We were thrilled! We told family and close friends within a few days. Everyone was ecstatic! However, our excitement was short-lived. About a week after our positive HPT, I started bleeding. I did some research and wasn’t too concerned since I found out that some women do bleed during pregnancy. The bleeding got heavier and so I made an appointment with the Pregnancy center in town. (We were still new to this area and hadn't established a doctor yet!) I had a sunken feeling that this was a miscarriage, but went to the appointment with hope. The pregnancy test there came back negative and I was told that meant that I was miscarrying. We were devastated. It was heartbreaking. We had a plan, a preconceived notion, that we’d get pregnant easily, have a healthy and beautiful baby, and that life as a family would be magnificent. This dream was shattered!

      Fast forward to March of 2012…we got another positive HPT! However, it was hard to be excited. We were worried and scared that it’d be another miscarriage. We didn’t share the news with anyone. I called my doctor to make an appointment. Since it was still early, we couldn’t be seen right away. Before we even made it to our appointment, I’d started experiencing bleeding again. I knew deep down that we were having another miscarriage as the situation was so similar to the first time. Sure enough, that’s exactly what happened…another devastating blow. I still went to my appointment and we started tests to see if maybe I had PCOS. Thankfully, the test came back negative, but did show that I have a hypothyroid. We began months of blood work and tests to figure out the right medicine and dosage. Throughout this time, I’d stopped having a normal period. I attributed it to the fact that my hormones were messed up due to my thyroid and now new medicine. I assumed that once I was on the right medicine that everything would go back to normal. But…things just got worse.

      It has been about a year now since I've had a normal period. I have had random and abnormal bleeding here and there. It is rather annoying as it will just come when it pleases and leave similarly; sometimes lasting a day or sometimes up to a week and a half! If I’m going to be honest, which is important to me, I have to admit that this bleeding would also start with any and every orgasm…sorry for TMI; I should have warned you sooner! It’s to the point now where I try to avoid them.

      You now have all of our TTC background. I have an appointment this Thursday to discuss this bleeding and to see what the next step is and how to fix it. My husband and I have decided to take a break from TTC, while we figure out what is wrong with me. We also have some weight to lose and debt to get paid off. So, I’m writing this blog, mostly for myself, to get my feelings out. I am struggling with crazy emotions on a daily basis, and if writing some of these feelings down can help me, then great. If they can also help someone else, that’s great too! I am looking forward to the support and love I will gain because of this blog.

      Besides me just blogging about my TTC and weight loss journey, I will also be posting things that make me happy! Here are some topics to look forward to…

-DIY projects and crafts

-Recipes for dinners and desserts

-Organization tips and tricks that I have found to be helpful

-Antique and thrifty finds, as I’m hoping to start an online antique store with a friend this year

-Inspirational or faith based stories from across the blogosphere

      So…welcome to Preconceived Notion…my journey as a constant dreamer!