Homesickness & Extreme Longing

      I have been getting these waves of homesickness a lot lately. I thought, while I was on vacation, that I was just missing home, but now that I am home, I can tell you that's not what it is. I usually am able to decipher which kind of homesickness I'm feeling. But what I've been feeling lately is something new. I'm not missing my home state of Michigan, or my parents house, or even my parents and family. I'm not missing my tiny apartment, or my husband. I get these brief waves of homesickness often and in all different settings. I've gotten this feeling while I'm playing with my daycare kids; when I'm at the grocery store; or making dinner. Today, this evening, it washed over me while I was laying on my bed, ready to take a nap with my husband...he left the room for .5 seconds to go to the bathroom and I felt it. Funny thing is, I also instantly knew it wasn't homesickness for him.

      Maybe the word 'homesickness' isn't exactly the most appropriate word for what I'm feeling. The feeling I get when this happens is very similar to when I am missing my family, Michigan, or husband. Tonight, after this feeling hit me yet again, I figured out what I'm actually longing for...finally. A baby! Duh! 

      Multiple times a day I get this homesick feeling, this feeling where I'm missing something, where a certain void needs to be filled in order to feel whole, happy, and complete comfort. My home and family are not complete. I crave a baby; which I guess all of you know by now. 

      I've obviously always felt this, but as time continuously is passing us by, this feeling and desire are so much stronger. I feel like I'm still not getting any answers, and medically, I'm not even ovulating so all this time trying to conceive is actually just a waste of time.

      I have a wonderful husband who spoils me and loves me; I have a magnificent family who supports and prays for me; I have a job that I love and am passionate about; I have friends to talk to and laugh with; I have all of my needs met...except for a baby! My heart aches...I fear this longing and homesickness won't go away until I receive that little miracle baby!