Return from Vacation

      I'm back! Last week, my husband and I met some friends (who live in FL) in TN for vacation. We rented a cabin together in the Smoky Mountains. We had so much fun! It was so nice to relax with friends we haven't seen in over a year, and to relax together. I'm very fortunate to spend a lot of time with my husband. However, lately he's been working a lot of overtime and so our evenings together are short, and boring because he's tired. It was nice to be able to relax in a way that's not for a few hours in front of the TV before bed. We both thoroughly enjoyed it!
      I had a few friends say to me before we left that this vacation may be just what the doctor ordered. That maybe just relaxing and not focusing on TTC would be what we needed and that maybe we'd actually get pregnant. I can sort of understand where they were coming from since I do stress about TTC...however...WHAT?! And, to those friends, we didn't even get to have sex!!! I was bleeding the WHOLE time! It was not a romantic getaway in that sense, that's for sure!
      My appointment on June 12th cannot come fast enough! I can't wait to go on provera and clomid! Also, diet and exercise are back on! Despite how difficult it is for me to mentally stick with a program, I'm not going to give up! I might fail, and fall off the horse here and there, but all that matters is that I get back on. And, although I am disappointed and frustrated, I'm still not giving up! In the back of my mind, I'm still convinced that as soon as I lose weight, I will get pregnant. I have no way to know if this is true, but a girl can hope. I don't understand why it's so difficult for me even though I want a baby so badly. You'd think I would be able to focus and stick with a plan so that I can lose weight quickly so that I can have a baby sooner...oh well. I'm not giving up and that's all that matters.