Monday, September 9, 2013

Change of Heart

      We haven't been happy with our church for awhile. And then, we kind of gave up hope and because of our situation and the circumstances, we became confused about our relationships with God. However, we've been feeling this pull to get connected to Him again. So yesterday, we tried out a new church in our area...and we LOVED it! It was the first time in a long time where I actually felt something in church...the pastor spoke in a way that drew me in. I have always had a difficult time paying attention in church and tend to lose focus very quickly, but yesterday I listened and took in every. single. word. It was wonderful!
      We are going to put everything into making this a new family; someplace where we feel safe and loved; somewhere where we feel connected. We are attending a class they are having there on Wednesday evening this week, and an event that they're having next Sunday. We also plan to introduce ourselves to the pastor at the service on Sunday.
      I feel like I'm ready to ask for help. At this point, my husband and I are both confused about what to do with our situation. We almost feel that if we're not pregnant by November, then we've done everything medically that we can do for the time being. And maybe, the fact that everything medically has failed is because God is trying to tell us NOW IS NOT THE RIGHT TIME! But that just confuses us because we don't understand why it's not; why not now; why not us? I feel like maybe if we seek some guidance spiritually, then we'll be able to accept that. I'm hoping anyway that if we ask for help, then it will be easier to remain patient and come to terms with the fact that God is in charge and has a plan laid out for us!

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