Italian Sausage & Pasta Recipe

      Unfortunately, this was a last minute, throw-together-whatever-ingredients-I-had-in-the-house kind of thing. I had planned a different meal, but Hubby and I both worked late last night and frankly I didn't feel like what I had planned. J It was fairly easy and tasted DELICIOUS!! Because I wasn't planning on it being this good, I didn't measure anything out so that I could give the exact recipe. However, it was amazing and I feel I should share, so here it is! I also did the math, and while it's not exactly the healthiest meal, it’d be about 9 WWPoints+ points per serving, which isn't terrible. I think if I would have had a green pepper, I would have diced that and sautéed it as well.

Italian Sausage & Pasta

Ingredients:

• Olive Oil
• Onion (I used about half of a medium sized sweet onion), diced
• Garlic
• Fennel
• Pepper, to taste
• Egg Noodles
• 4 Italian Sausages, sliced
• Ragu “Sweet Italian Sausage & Cheese”
• Mozzarella/Parmesan Cheese (optional, Hubby sprinkled mozzarella cheese on his, I didn't. *Keep in mind if you add cheese, you'd also have to add more WW points*)

Directions:

-Sauté onion and garlic, sprinkled with pepper, in olive oil

-Add Italian sausage slices to pan to fry

(While I was sautéing, I was also doing the next step)

-Boil about a half bag of egg noodles

-When all that is done, add noodles, sausage, onions and garlic into one pan and add Ragu sauce (about ¾ jar)

-Sprinkle fennel on and stir together

-Serve.

Here is the Ragu sauce that I used!

      It is delicious! My husband and I loved it! Thankfully, it made four servings, so we get to have some for lunch today! YUMMY! 

Got Faith?

      I am sure many of you can relate that when you’re struggling with something it’s so much easier to be mad at God then it is to seek His help. I have been here for a while. I can’t understand for the life of me why other women get pregnant so easily and I am struggling! My jealousy GREATLY affects my faith. Over this past year or so, I have pulled away from Church because at times I've felt God did this to me. It’s been hard for me to accept that God’s plan for my life is different than mine. It’s been hard to put all of my faith and trust in Him. He loves me and wants me to be happy, I’m sure it hurts Him to see me sad too.

      Believe me, I’m still jealous. It seems like EVERYDAY someone new is announcing that they’re pregnant or posting ultrasound or newborn baby pictures on Facebook. Most of my good friends have babies. I don’t know that I’ll ever understand why God chose to make me go through this instead of one of them. Maybe He knows something about me that I haven’t quite yet learned about myself?

      I feel however, that I am slowly starting to grow. I know He will bless us with a baby. I am certain of this. After all, God created me and gave me this desire and love for children. I have been spending more time in prayer lately and am ready to go back to church. I feel like not only am I trying to make drastic changes in my life as far as my health is concerned, I’m also ready to make similar changes in my heart and with my relationship with God.

      I am working on my jealousy as well. It is difficult, and I’m sure I’ll use this blog as an outlet to express myself when I’m feeling jealous! Be warned! But, I am trying to accept that this is what I’m going through right now and at the end of this journey I will be a much better and stronger woman, blessed with a beautiful baby! 

      I will leave you with this Bible verse that I am constantly reminding myself of; Jeremiah 29:11. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 

Drastic Changes

      One of the major obstacles that have hindered our chances of getting and staying pregnant is the fact that I am overweight. I am technically considered obese, which is heartbreaking to me. If I weren't overweight, would we have had miscarriages? If I weren't obese, would we be parents by now? I blame myself for the miscarriages and for us not being able to get pregnant. It kills me to know that our failure is because of my laziness and unhealthy habits. I have started to look at food as my addiction. Trying to lose weight is more of a mental obstacle than anything else. I know I have to make some drastic changes in order to see positive results, but right now I’m willing to do just about anything.

      Ideally, I’d be able to lose about 120 pounds! I know crazy right?! I have let myself get to such an unhealthy place. I have struggled with my weight since 5^th grade. It has attributed to my low self-esteem, and my anxiety and depression. However, until now, I’d never really seen it. I've always known I needed to lose weight. I knew I was in plus sizes, and that I was unhappy, but I, in all honesty, didn't ever know it was THIS bad. I have tried any and every kind of diet program, and even a few different diet pills or supplements. I would lose weight for a bit, but slowly put it back on, plus some. I am one of the most impatient people I know, which caused mental obstacles when it comes to weight loss. If I wasn't seeing results right away, I’d get discouraged and quit. If I felt it was too hard and too time consuming then I’d just give up. If I’m being honest with myself, I can admit that I've never really given weight loss 100% of my effort. If I had, I wouldn't be this size anymore. I would have stuck with a diet program long enough for it to change my lifestyle and views on food and health. I am beyond disappointed in myself for getting to this weight and size.

      My husband is also overweight, but dieting and weight loss comes easier for him. However, he has struggled with sticking to a program in the past. Since our first miscarriage, we let things get really bad. We were eating out multiple times a week with most of that being on the weekends. We were also drinking so much pop that we’d go through a few 2-liters each a week. We were so unhappy and depressed, that we let our laziness get in the way of everything. As soon as we’d get home from work we’d sit on the couch and watch TV until bed. We rarely worked out, and if we did it wasn't consistent or difficult. However, since the beginning of the year we have made quite a few changes! Together, we have cut out pop and junk food in the house. We are also on a dining out schedule, where we allow ourselves to go on a date once every two weeks or so. We are not necessarily on a diet program, but are just watching our portions and adding more fruits and veggies into our meals instead of processed and sugary snacks. Our evenings and free time are spent in the gym. We are trying to get there at least 4-5 times a week. Weight lifting has become a passion. Instead of sitting on the couch planted in front of the TV like before, we are trying to spend more time outside going on walks.

      We have been feeling more energetic and happy. I am not seeing any physical changes in my body yet, but I am enjoying the mental changes that are starting to happen. I look forward to blogging about this weight loss experience. And I hope my changes will inspire others! 

Welcome!

      Hello! I am Kristi, and I am 25 years old. I am happily married to my best friend and am passionate about my daycare, a small business that is slowly starting to grow. I welcome you to my blog, Preconceived Notion…my journey as a constant dreamer.

      Let me start by explaining why I chose to write this blog. (Forewarning…since this is the first post, it is going to be rather long, please bear with me!)  For a year and four months now, my husband and I have been, unsuccessfully, trying for our first baby. I have struggled a lot in this time with many emotions and with my faith. I am a constant dreamer, and have always had preconceived notions about how my life would turn out. So far, not everything is going according to my plan. This devastates and confuses me. So I’m writing to get my feelings out; to gain some patience while struggling on this journey, hoping to find out what God’s plan is for my life exactly.

      My husband and I were married on May 15, 2011. We had dated, on and off, for four years prior to our wedding. He is my absolute best friend and I love him more than anything. We have grown a lot in our relationship. We had a rocky and rough start, but I can honestly say that we are better people because of it. We have learned so much about each other and ourselves during our struggles. I wouldn't trade any of our past experiences for anything because it’s made us who we are today. Our friendship and marriage is strong.

      We decided to start trying for a baby in October of 2011. We knew since day one that we wanted a family more than anything. It was, and still is, a dream that we both share. We found out we were pregnant in early December of that same year and were shocked that we didn’t have to try for very long! Since as long as I can remember, all I've wanted to be was a mommy. It is engraved on my heart. Getting that positive HPT was an answered prayer; a miracle; a blessing! We were thrilled! We told family and close friends within a few days. Everyone was ecstatic! However, our excitement was short-lived. About a week after our positive HPT, I started bleeding. I did some research and wasn’t too concerned since I found out that some women do bleed during pregnancy. The bleeding got heavier and so I made an appointment with the Pregnancy center in town. (We were still new to this area and hadn't established a doctor yet!) I had a sunken feeling that this was a miscarriage, but went to the appointment with hope. The pregnancy test there came back negative and I was told that meant that I was miscarrying. We were devastated. It was heartbreaking. We had a plan, a preconceived notion, that we’d get pregnant easily, have a healthy and beautiful baby, and that life as a family would be magnificent. This dream was shattered!

      Fast forward to March of 2012…we got another positive HPT! However, it was hard to be excited. We were worried and scared that it’d be another miscarriage. We didn’t share the news with anyone. I called my doctor to make an appointment. Since it was still early, we couldn’t be seen right away. Before we even made it to our appointment, I’d started experiencing bleeding again. I knew deep down that we were having another miscarriage as the situation was so similar to the first time. Sure enough, that’s exactly what happened…another devastating blow. I still went to my appointment and we started tests to see if maybe I had PCOS. Thankfully, the test came back negative, but did show that I have a hypothyroid. We began months of blood work and tests to figure out the right medicine and dosage. Throughout this time, I’d stopped having a normal period. I attributed it to the fact that my hormones were messed up due to my thyroid and now new medicine. I assumed that once I was on the right medicine that everything would go back to normal. But…things just got worse.

      It has been about a year now since I've had a normal period. I have had random and abnormal bleeding here and there. It is rather annoying as it will just come when it pleases and leave similarly; sometimes lasting a day or sometimes up to a week and a half! If I’m going to be honest, which is important to me, I have to admit that this bleeding would also start with any and every orgasm…sorry for TMI; I should have warned you sooner! It’s to the point now where I try to avoid them.

      You now have all of our TTC background. I have an appointment this Thursday to discuss this bleeding and to see what the next step is and how to fix it. My husband and I have decided to take a break from TTC, while we figure out what is wrong with me. We also have some weight to lose and debt to get paid off. So, I’m writing this blog, mostly for myself, to get my feelings out. I am struggling with crazy emotions on a daily basis, and if writing some of these feelings down can help me, then great. If they can also help someone else, that’s great too! I am looking forward to the support and love I will gain because of this blog.

      Besides me just blogging about my TTC and weight loss journey, I will also be posting things that make me happy! Here are some topics to look forward to…

-DIY projects and crafts

-Recipes for dinners and desserts

-Organization tips and tricks that I have found to be helpful

-Antique and thrifty finds, as I’m hoping to start an online antique store with a friend this year

-Inspirational or faith based stories from across the blogosphere

      So…welcome to Preconceived Notion…my journey as a constant dreamer!