My husband and I have been talking
a lot about officially going on Provera and Clomid. I finally made a doctor’s
appointment for June 12th. I found out though that my regular doctor
is on maternity leave…go figure! So I will have to see a different doctor in
the practice, which I’m feeling apprehensive about. They don’t know my history
so I hope I won’t have to explain my situation all over. I hope they will allow
me to go on the meds since that is what my doctor said was okay. I guess it
will be nice to have a second opinion. Maybe they will recognize something in
my situation that my regular doctor didn't; maybe they’ll know exactly what is
wrong.
If I’m being
honest, I’m actually a little worried about starting these meds. I desperately
want a baby; we desperately want a
baby! But my weight loss journey is not going well. I keep going back and forth
and can’t stick to anything no matter how hard I feel I’m trying. I’m
disappointed, but I’m not really being down or hard on myself. I don’t know
that that’s a good thing; maybe I should be harder on myself so that I stick
with it. Anyway, how am I going to feel if I get pregnant soon at this size? I
just can’t imagine being this size (I’d like to enter my size in pounds here,
but it’s way too big to share) and gaining extra pregnancy weight. I would be miserable
(at that size, not actually being pregnant)! I would like to lose more weight
before we get pregnant, but that’s obviously not happening. And besides, that
would take another year or two to get to the ideal weight, and we’re already at
least a year and a half into TTC!
Well, I
guess I’ll just keep praying about everything and just see what happens!
No comments:
Post a Comment