I haven’t written in forever it feels. My last post was
about how horrible I did at the gym on the 17th, and since then
things have been different. I've been feeling so good and motivated; this past
weekend my hubby and I even did a 5k on the treadmill. I am extremely obese,
and I thought for sure there was no way I’d be able to do over 3 miles and if I
could I knew I’d be there for hours! It was a struggle, but I finished in less
than 59 minutes! I was soo proud of myself! My hubby stuck at my pace the whole
time, it felt good to have him as a partner and cheerleader. He of course could
have gone a lot faster, but I am glad he stuck with me because if he didn't I
would have given up. It felt good to make him proud too! I’m beginning to enjoy
the gym again and I leave feeling proud and strong again. In fact, one day this
week, my husband wanted to stop before I did on the elliptical…I made us keep
going! Again, he was surprised and proud of me! I think going to the gym
together and working out as a team is strengthening us a couple. I love that we
are doing this together!
Anyway, tomorrow is my ultrasound and doctor’s appointment.
It’s been a month since my last appointment and blood tests. I feel a little
bad because I didn't see a counselor in that time like I was supposed to.
However, I've been feeling so much better and happier that I haven’t felt as depressed
which is why I completely forgot about making an appointment to see one. I
guess that’s a good thing! I’m hoping that tomorrow we can figure out a way to
get me back on a normal menstrual cycle! I've still been bleeding every day and
it seems to have gotten a lot heavier. Sorry for TMI, but I can’t even tell you
the last time hubby and I had sex because I’m bleeding so much that it’s just
gross. To be honest, right now I feel like the focus isn't even on getting pregnant
anymore, but rather on getting back to “normal”; and of course, weight loss.
This is a very frustrating time, but I just have to remind myself that at the
end of this messy and emotional journey, we’ll be parents. That is the
ultimate, long term goal anyway. Praying that this journey doesn't take many
more years; I've barely been able to handle this first year and a half!
Wish me luck!
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