Thursday, February 28, 2013

It's been awhile...


      I haven’t written in forever it feels. My last post was about how horrible I did at the gym on the 17th, and since then things have been different. I've been feeling so good and motivated; this past weekend my hubby and I even did a 5k on the treadmill. I am extremely obese, and I thought for sure there was no way I’d be able to do over 3 miles and if I could I knew I’d be there for hours! It was a struggle, but I finished in less than 59 minutes! I was soo proud of myself! My hubby stuck at my pace the whole time, it felt good to have him as a partner and cheerleader. He of course could have gone a lot faster, but I am glad he stuck with me because if he didn't I would have given up. It felt good to make him proud too! I’m beginning to enjoy the gym again and I leave feeling proud and strong again. In fact, one day this week, my husband wanted to stop before I did on the elliptical…I made us keep going! Again, he was surprised and proud of me! I think going to the gym together and working out as a team is strengthening us a couple. I love that we are doing this together!
      Anyway, tomorrow is my ultrasound and doctor’s appointment. It’s been a month since my last appointment and blood tests. I feel a little bad because I didn't see a counselor in that time like I was supposed to. However, I've been feeling so much better and happier that I haven’t felt as depressed which is why I completely forgot about making an appointment to see one. I guess that’s a good thing! I’m hoping that tomorrow we can figure out a way to get me back on a normal menstrual cycle! I've still been bleeding every day and it seems to have gotten a lot heavier. Sorry for TMI, but I can’t even tell you the last time hubby and I had sex because I’m bleeding so much that it’s just gross. To be honest, right now I feel like the focus isn't even on getting pregnant anymore, but rather on getting back to “normal”; and of course, weight loss. This is a very frustrating time, but I just have to remind myself that at the end of this messy and emotional journey, we’ll be parents. That is the ultimate, long term goal anyway. Praying that this journey doesn't take many more years; I've barely been able to handle this first year and a half!
      Wish me luck!

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