{Update}

      Well, yesterday was my appointment and it went well.
      I had originally mentioned maybe going back on birth control for the summer, but the doctor thought Provera would be better. Even though we're not TTC at this moment, I still need to get on a cycle and have a regular and normal period. At this point, I told him that that was my concern. So I start Provera today to induce a period/cycle. This way I will be ready to start Clomid towards the end of the summer when we start TTC again! I'm excited and happy with our decision to put TTC on hold.
      Exercising and dieting are still going well. In my first week I lost 5.5 pounds and 7 inches. I am not feeling as excited about this process as much this week, but regardless, I'm sticking with my program. I will admit that I have fallen off the horse a few times, overeating for snacks, but I've gotten back up and still managed to stay around my calorie goal, especially once I figured in my calories burned. I am feeling better about my body and am noticing small changes. My belt, for example, is too big! I used to wear it on the first two notches to make it as big as it would go, and now it's still loose on the smallest notch! I feel proud! Every time I look at my arms I can see my muscles and they're beautiful! I obviously still have A LOT of work to do, but I'm feeling better and can see my hard work paying off.
      I'm still feeling jealous of other women and their pregnancy announcements or new babies, but I honestly don't think that will ever go away. Even though we've decided to stop TTC for the time being, and even though I'm happy with this decision, I still desperately want a baby. It has been a little over a year and a half since we started TTC, and I wish I had done things differently. I wish at that point I started a strict diet and exercise plan and stuck with it. I wish I hadn't been so lazy and was able to put my health first. Everything would be different right now. I may have lost the majority of the weight I need to lose by now. I may already be pregnant if I had done that. But, unfortunately, I didn't focus on weight loss and at this point there's no going back. I just have to move forward. I had started diets in that time and I had intended to stick with them, but mentally I wasn't in the right place to stay strong enough to make that my priority. This time, things are different. And for that, I am thankful!