So I'm weird and have a confession to make! When I'm bored I look up pregnancy announcements on youtube. And because of this addiction, I obsess over how I'm going to tell my hubby, and how we're going to share the news with our families! However, as we're getting closer to starting Clomid, I'm beginning to get fearful of our reactions and families reactions to a BFP. I know my husband will be happy and excited to find out we're pregnant again, but I also know that he will be worried and won't be able to really enjoy the pregnancy until we're at least past the second trimester mark. He's shared this with me before. Knowing this, I'm afraid it's going to affect my feelings towards a pregnancy. Not just that, but I know I am also going to be anxious the whole first trimester and will be worried to get too excited since the last two ended way too early. Has anyone else ever felt this way?
When watching the youtube videos there are so many cute ones with grandma and grandpas to be screaming and crying and jumping up and down, and I want that. But I am also afraid our family will be scared to celebrate until we know we're in the clear. And I want to celebrate this pregnancy from day one! I don't want to be fearful and afraid of the worst possible outcome. I want to relish the fact that my baby is growing inside me. Will I be scared to really celebrate? How will my husband really react? Will our family act as excited and happy as the families in the videos?
I also think that since everyone knows about our miscarriages, and everyone knows we're desperately trying for a baby, that everyone knows that a positive test and pregnancy are just around the corner. Maybe that will take away some of the surprise and excitement? I'm probably thinking too much into this. I know everyone in our family will be ecstatic as they've been waiting just as long as we have for us to have a baby. I just hope that this next pregnancy is everything we're expecting it to be; reactions from everyone, but more importantly full term and healthy!
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